From a young age I’ve always been the observer. I would sit quietly in a room sometimes for hours, happy in my own company, taking in my surroundings. I was a sensitive child, very attuned to my environment and to other humans within it. Listening and observing helped me take in signals intuitively and I could sense the vibe of any room or situation. Nothing got past me, even without words. What I realise now I often found confusing that words I heard were often not in line with what I felt. There was seem to be discrepancy between the actual truth and how people behaved.

But as a culture that’s so heavily dominated by the mind, I gradually succumbed to a world where a seemingly rational explanation beat even an attuned heart. What you could see and put words to were to be trusted. All driven by our ego.

I never really felt safe as a result. Mostly I felt too emotional so I became very good at academia and competing. And I really do feel it’s given me a lot, a well-rounded education and interest in many things. But I didn’t know how to harmonise this with my true nature. The self within me who wanted to be able to rely on her senses, her intuition and the unseen guidance of something that is hard to put words against. Instead, I relied on information, science and things I found practical. Things I could grasp with my mind. For years that’s what’s given me the feeling of safety.