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Orientation, curiosity, exploration of self and other people
A
common motive for sexual relations is orientation. The only way to find
out what is going on is to be in the situation -- seeing what it is like.
Another
common motive, which is a powerful one, is curiosity. Curiosity includes
the urge for mastery, exploration, to know oneself and other people, especially
if knowledge of sex and important people in one's life are vague.
One
will have sex to know oneself. One will have sex and even get married
to know Father or Mother who has been vague. Daughter will marry a mysterious
vague man to find out what Father is like. She will never know it from
Father. Daughter cannot know this from words.
The
male fantasy of making love to a woman from every nation persists despite
the fact of the ever-increasing number of new nations. In order to make
love to a female from a foreign country, the male is willing to travel
around the world.
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To drive people crazy
Another
very important motive for nonsexual sexual relations is to drive people
crazy, such as parents and friends. Using sex for this is usually because
the person is being driven crazy by what's going on inside his or her
body and by the culture.
Parents
drive the child crazy. For example a child is taught many skills that
apparently overwhelm her; she is assigned tasks that are beyond her emotional
development. Also, being told that she needs to develop these skills for
her sake, whereas it is for the mother’s sake, disorients a child.
In retaliation the teenager will have sex to drive the parents crazy.
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To cope with negative emotions such as greed, rage, and envy
Sex
is used to cope with strong negative emotions such as greed, rage, and
envy.
Greed is an important motive in the psychology of the prostitute. Prostitution
is par excellence the nonsexual use of sexual relations.
Sex
is used as a counter-depressive maneuver; this is especially common in
young adults. Also common in young adults is using sex to cope with a
sense of futility, despair, low self-esteem, and loneliness.
Rape
is an expression of rage.
Envy
and competition among peers are motives for sex. |
